We are all unique. Each and everyone of us has his or her own story to tell. So, what therapy does is to help the client go back in time and space and see where his or her heart was broken and try to heal it. The first step to do that is to tell your true story.
While you take this journey, you can set yourself free from it and live in the present. So, you have to talk, feel, cry, get furious and then laugh about the past, in order to accept it without fear. This way, the present becomes itself, nothing more.
Many times in life we tend to follow our parents or grandparents life without knowing why. Through self improvement we can detach and observe what is repetitive so we can free ourselves and become more receptive at who we are and who we would like to be. This way, we can live our own life and not our parents or grandparents and we can create our own true story.
Our fundamental need is to be heard and feel understood when we communicate. Sometimes, in a couple this need is not fulfilled anymore. So, we argue. One way to reconnect is to use “a Bridge” and invite your partner in your world to share thoughts with him or her. In therapy, couples learn to share without feeling judged, only heard and understood. This way, they feel safe and loved. Often couples argue because they do not think they are happy anymore. When you’ll come to couples therapy you’ll find out that this lack of happiness may be due to some of your child unfulfilled needs. So, during therapy, I will use some specific exercises and techniques so partners can help each other in the process of healing their child‘s torment. Through these exercises and techniques, you, as a couple, will discover understanding and authenticity.
Sometimes, when couples come to therapy you can instantly feel a pressure in the room. Everyone starts talking about everything except the big elephant sitting with us. As a therapist, I often use this idiomatic phrase of the elephant in the room in order to evidence the couple that everyone knows that there is something here that is being deliberately ignored because otherwise it would cause embarrassment or other emotions. Once we see and talk about the Elephant, people start laughing, the pressure lowers and this way words and the emotions behind them start making room.